YOU CANNOT REPAIR CONTROL...THE YIN SPIDER RINGS

A GOOGLE DOCUMENT OF MERE MAN IN JOURNEY... THE REFLECTIONS OF THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, EMOTIONS OF ENCOUNTERS...

TO CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW...

http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AXA0ue4vjqLGZGZrcmdmbmRfMjNobmRzM3hyNQ&hl=en

SNOW MELT IN DREAMS ECHO DEEPLY 7 MINUTE VIDEO...

COLORS IN THE RIVER...COLOMBIA

THE TRANS PARENT PATHING OF GUNNING SENSES ...THE BEYOND AND OUT OF STUMPED WAYZ...THE MIMESIS EMULATIONS OF MEDIATIONS THROUGH MODELLINGS GREATER THAN COURAGE OF WHAT IS FELT...

THE MORNING AFTER...

TEMPOS OF SEWINGS AND KINWEBBINGS...THE KISS OF THE SPIDER WOMAN DREAM AS ALL IS CLOUDED BY DESIRE AND VULNERABILITY IN WOUNDS SEEM TO BE DRAWN TO WOONDEADNESS IN CONTROLLED MANIPULATIVE 'CHARMS'...

THE SKILLINGS OF THE BATTLES OF SEXUALITY WHERE POWER SEEKING IS GREATER THAN LOVE...

THE BARBICAN SHAME FORTRESSING GREATER THAN TRUTH OF URGENCY...

MISTRUST AND IMAGE MAKING GREATER THAN TRUINGS OF HEART...

TO LOOK INTO HEART AND SEE THE 'ACQUIRING' THAT GOES ON...THAT WHICH MAKES A BEING BECOME WHAT HE OR SHE IS MEANT TO BE...

IT IS STRENGTH IN TENSEGRITY-ELASTICITY OF FIBERS AND RHYTHMS OUT OF FORTRESSED CONSTRUCTIONS OF IMPRESSION MANAGEMENT...

IT IS SEEING THE FALSE CONSUMPTIVE IN YIN SPIDER EROS SELF ABSORPTION WHERE HUNGRY GHOSTS ARE THE DISTORTIONS IN ADDICTIONS OF BEHAVIORS AND APPETITES...

TO MOVE TO THE 'PROVEN CORE'...HARVESTING THE CENTER...DISTANCE FROM ORIGINS AS WELL AS KNOWLEDGE OF THE FRUITS OF THE PSYCHE TREE...

TO ENCOUNTER THE EXTREME YANG IN TIGER THAT PROTECTS AGAINST THE EXTREME YIN OF DEMONS...YIN OF SPIDER CONSUMPTIONS

CORRIDORS AND OVERLAPS OF AGREED UPON ENMESHED DAUGHTER-SISTER-GIRLFRIEND-MOTHER  WHERE CONTROLS AND 'ACCEPTABLE' AS 'POWER' IS GREATER THAN LOVE...

THERE IS AUTOTOMY...DEATH...FEAR...AS AN INTERSECTION  OR   PLACE OF EXCHANGE WHERE CATALYST IS FOR STIMULATION...FOR GROWTH...

KIDZDREAMING







THE OTHER SIDE OF NOTHING. THE LAND OF WILD ANIMALS AND MEN...WOMEN...






A TWILIGHT TIME OF FILLING IN THE BLANKS...MAKING SENSE OF IT...SO MANY WAYS OF DEFINING CERTAINTY OF BELIEF AS THE MANY AND THE FEW FOLLOW PRECEDENT AND THE INSPIRATIONS OF 'B-4'...






'B-4'...THE HOLDING SPACE OF 'WHY'...THE 'Y' IN THE 'B-4' INSTEAD OF THE 'Y' IN THE 'AS IS'...THE CROSS AND CROSS SINGS OF REDNESS IN SEAS AND GREAT RIVERS, THE RESCUES OUT OF CASTLES AND THE REASONS FOR THE SUFFERINGS...THE VIOLENCE OF FLAGELLATIONS TO GET CLOSER TO 'CHRIST' AND THE RATIONALIZING CONTROLS OF ADHERENCE TO DOCTRINES...






TO MEASURE AGAINST TENETS AND INSTITUTIONS OF HERITAGE...TO COMPLY IN IMPOSITIONS, EXPECTANCIES, INQUISITIONS, FEARS, FRIGHTS AND 'GOING ALONG TO GET ALONG'...IT IS ALMIGHTY IN 'AL' RHYTHMS OF 'AIR' IN CHI, BREATH OR PRANA, THE GREAT ONE, THE ALMIGHTY...IN THE LETTER 'A'....


IT IS HERITAGE IN THE RHYTHMS OF THE UNIVERSE IN 'L' AS LOVE, VENUS, BEAUTY IN THE WOMAN SATISFIED OR THE WOMAN FILLED WITH CREATIVE ENERGY...






DEEP IN THE UNDERCURRENTS OF THE MANY PATHINGS OF 'GOD' AND INSPIRATIONS OF 'WHO ARE WE, WHERE DO WE COME FROM, WHERE ARE WE GOING'...DEEP IN THE ORDINARY OF BILLIONS OF PEOPLE MOVING IN VARIATIONS OF GOLDEN RULE YET IN CONFLICTS OF WHAT IS RIGHTEOUSNESS? DEEP IN THE HEART OF INSTINCTS, SOCIO-SYMBOLIC ORDERINGS AND CULTURE WARS OF DIRECTION...DEEP IN THE MOMENTUMS OF BUILDING PYRAMIDS AND ANCIENT CALENDARS...DEEP IN THE 12.21.2012 OF MAYAN AS INTERSECTION WITH GLOBAL HERDING AND COSMIC RHYTHMS IS THE MAGICIAN IN TRUE WILL BEING IN ONENESS WITH THE UNIVERSE...






IT IS GOING INTO 'B-4' TO 'B' IN A ZERO...THE ABYSS OF NOTHINGNESS...EMPTINESS...MERE EXISTENCE IN SPIRIT...TIME OF UNITY OF SOUL IN ONENESS WITH MATTER...MATTER OF IDENTITY IN PRESENCE, MATTER OF RELATIONS AND COMMONALITY WITH ALL THAT IS HUMAN...FOR NOTHING IS WHAT MATTERS...

http://woondead.blogspot.com/

TO SEE DIFFERENCE IN ACCUMULATIONS OF EXPERIENCE VS. TRANSFORMATION IN LETTING GO OF ALL THAT IS NOT ONE[OUT OF WANTING TO BE WANTED QUESTS OF POWER]...TO SEEK TRUTH OF URGENCY...

SECRET PASSAGE ESSAY IN GOOGLE LINK

http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AXA0ue4vjqLGZGZrcmdmbmRfMjZoY3RoMzZjcg&hl=en

SITWELLIAN ZONING ESSAY IN GOOGLE DOCS...

http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AXA0ue4vjqLGZGZrcmdmbmRfMzNnZHRweGtkNw&hl=en

FAILURE ...AN ESSAY LINK IN GOOGLE DOCS...

http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AXA0ue4vjqLGZGZrcmdmbmRfMzVnZzNtc2JoZA&hl=en

'FAILURE' IN GOOGLE DOCS...ESSAY

A MIND AT PEACE WITH ALL BELOW...KNOL ON SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION-LINK

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GOOGLE KNOL...2010 WOMENS SEXUALITY 'DYSFUNCTION' ARTICLE

http://knol.google.com/k/tom-f-lue/female-sexual-function-and-dysfunction/aN-GBcH5/PvjlAw

She walks in Beauty, like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:


Thus mellowed to that tender light


Which Heaven to gaudy day denies.


One shade the more, one ray the less,


Had half impaired the nameless grace


Which waves in every raven tress,


Or softly lightens o'er her face;


Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.


And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,




A mind at peace with all below,






A heart whose love is innocent




BYRON

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CASTRATION IN ROMANCE VERSION AVERSION AS DESIRE  SHUTS DOWN AS IS FOR THE DREAM OF SOME IDEA OF A FORTRESS SOLUTION...






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A SUSTAINABLE LOSS FOR AN INCALCULABLE GAIN...THE PART FOR THE WHOLE...THE 'TRICK OF ABANDONING WHAT CAN BE SPARED'-BURKERT ROMANCE OF ASTREA AND CELADON-ERIC ROMER FILM

A SPIDER SACRIFICING A LEG...THE TERROR MOULT OF BIRDS LEAVING ATTACKERS WITH A MOUTHFUL OF FEATHERS...


LOSING A FINGER AS ONE ESCAPES FROM A MONSTER OR DEMON... CUTTING OFF...


BITING OFF... A FOOT CAUGHT IN A TRAP


IS RIPPED OFF...

WISHES AS COINS THROWN INTO FOUNTAINS, POOLS AND SACRED STREAMS


DREAMS IN IMAGINED EXCHANGED FOR DRIVES TO SOMETHING BEYOND THE PRINCESS OF DA..


HEART PATHS OF ACCUMULATIONS AND LOSS POWERS OF HOLDING....

WOMENS SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION GOOGLE KNOL ARTICLE..........

http://knol.google.com/k/tom-f-lue/female-sexual-function-and-dysfunction/aN-GBcH5/PvjlAw

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CHRONIC DEPRESSION -HAGOP S. AKISAL...RE...OVER-DEDICATION

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THE TIME...

CHRONIC DEPRESSIVES 'SEEM TO DERIVE PERSONAL GRATIFICATION FROM OVER-DEDICATION TO PROFESSIONS THAT REQUIRE GREATER SERVICE AND SUFFERING ON BEHALF OF OTHER PEOPLE'...MANY CHRONIC DEPRESSIVES SAY THEY FEEL EMPTY IN EVERY REALM EXCEPT THEIR WORK...WHAT DOES ONE DO 'WELL'...SAVANT, AVATAR, MEDIUM, STAR MERIDIAM PATTERNS OF POINTS OF LIGHT ROLE SKILL ETCCACTUS WREN IN FLIGHT FROM NEST...

FROM SAFE AND SOUND TO FIGHT OR FLIGHT...FROM NESTING TO ESCAPISM...

TOTALITY IN 'NUCLEAR' FAMILY...THE REDIRECTED REPRODUCTIVENESS IN EXPLOSION OF MUSHROOM 'HEAD'...INSEMINATION OF EARTH MOTHER AWARENESS...
THE HI RO SHI MA OF JA PAN...THE DEATH CARD OF THE END AS WELL AS THE BEGINNING...THE MOMENT OF CLOSURE IN MOVING OUT OF 'LE PETIT MORT' OR THE GREAT ORGASM...EVERYTHING IS NO LONGER WHAT IT WAS...

IT IS 'BEYOND BRED' AS CONSCIOUSNESS SEEKS TO OVERCOME THE SELF OF 'MEDIATIONS' AND POLITICO CONTROL IN FORTRESS BARBICAN PATTERNS OF SERVING AN 'IMPOSITION ORDER'...

IT IS PRESENCE AS EVERYTHING IS ALTERED...ALL RELATIONSHIPS IN 'YOU CANNOT GO HOME AGAIN'...IT IS INDIVIDUALITY IN LETTING GO OF ALL THAT IS NOT ONE...

THE WOMAN RELEASE OUT OF THE ILLUSIONS OF 'DA' AND 'MA' AND BAOKA...
TO BECOME 'OWN'...PRESENCE IN WILL IN UNITY WITH UNIVERSE AND HEART PATHING OF CONSCIOUSNESS...

FEARS OF A BLUE TOMORROW

'DO YOU WANT YOUR ADVENTURE NOW, OR WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR TEA FIRST'?...PETER PAN-J.M.BARRIE

OUT OF A BLOG... 

http://fearsofabluetomorrow.blogspot.com/

THE ‘EVE’ ECHO ‘HUNGERS’ THAT ARE SEEMINGLY PACIFIED AND ‘OUT OF MIND’ ARE ‘ACTIVATED’…THE ‘UNFORESEEN COMBINATION OF CIRCUMSTANCES’ IGNITES THE ‘UNSEEN’ AND THE ‘PREVIOUSLY UNFELT’ MOVING OUT OF A DREAM INTO A POSSIBLE REALIZATION RHYTHM…THE STROKE OF MIDNIGHT IS NEAR…THE TIME OF ‘AULDE LANG SYNE’ AND KISSES PAST THE ‘FEARS OF A BLUE TOMORROW’…IT IS A TIME OF BREATHING INTO THE ‘CRACKS’ OF BROKEN MIRRORS AND FRACTURED REFLECTIONS OF ‘YESTERDAZE’ CONFINEMENTS… A TIME OF ACCESSING THE GREAT DUALITY OF ‘CREATIVE ROAMING’…THE WANDERING IN SEARCH OF THE DEEP LOVE OF INNOCENCE THAT WAS LOST IN BETRAYALS AND NEGLECT…MEMORY IS ABLE TO SEE SO MANY COMPENSATORY BEHAVIORS AS THEY EVOLVED INTO THE ‘VALUED’ ‘PERSONALITY’ KNOWING HOW TO ‘MEDIATE’, ‘MANIPULATE’ AND ‘SURVIVE’ FENDING FOR ONESELF…A ‘PERSONALITY’ DEVELOPED AS A ‘SHAME BASED’ FORTRESSED DEFENSIVENESS OF ‘GOING ALONG’ AND ‘GETTING ALONG’…A ‘LEVERAGING MODE’ SEEKING TO OVERCOME THE EARLY HARM RESONANCE EXPERIENCED AND FELT AS A ‘TYRANNY OF POWERLESSNESS’…A ‘PERSONALITY’, JOKINGLY REFERRED TO IN BROOKLYNESE AS ‘POISONALITY’, BUILT AS AN EROTIC-NEUROTIC CASTLE OF PUZZLES DESIGNED TO ‘WARD OFF’ ANY ‘ANNIHILATION’ THREATS…A ‘3 LITTLE PIGS’ HOUSE OF BRICKS THAT PROTECTS AGAINST THE ‘BIG BAD WOLF’ AND ‘SEEMS SAFE’…A FORTRESSED ‘BRICK SHIT HOUSE’ WHERE ‘FEELINGS ARE HIDDEN ‘BEHIND’…THE FOSTERING OF THE ‘REARING’ WAY OF ‘YOU ARE WITH US OR AGAINST US’…THE ECHOIC DANGERS OF RECURRENCE SENSED IN THE ‘LITTLE CHILD’ FUEL THE ‘BRICK WAY OF LAYERING’…THE EARLY HARM RESONANCE IS THE GREAT FEAR, ABANDONMENT, AND ANGRY HEART OF NEGLECTED SOUL…A ‘LITTLE CHILD FINDS WAYS TO COUNTER FEELINGS OF ‘SOUL FRIGHT’ AND ‘ABANDONMENT’ BY WITHDRAWAL AND MASKING…IT IS ONLY IN TIMES OF REOCCURENCE THAT ONE HAS AN OPPORTUNITY TO BREAKTHROUGH THE WEBBING AND REACH FOR THE GLIMPSED STRANGER THAT CALLS…THERE IS RISK AS ONE EXPERIENCES THE ‘FEELINGS’ THAT HAVE BEEN LONG ‘SUPPRESSED OR DENIED’…THE MOMENT OF DECIDING TO ‘REACH’ IS THE PIVOTAL STEP TO PERSONAL LIBERATION AND EMPOWERMENT…IT IS A TIME OF RISING OUT OF THE UNDERCURRENTS AND DISSOLVING THE FORTRESSING… IT IS ‘WILL’ LEARNING TO ‘SURF’ IN ‘SEEING’ THE FORCES AND ‘WAVES’ FROM ABOVE… THE ‘GLIMPSE’ OF WHAT IS ‘OUT OF REACH’ BECKONS YET ONE DOES NOT HAVE THE EXPERIENCE OF SUCCESSFULLY ACHIEVING ON THE ‘HIGHER PLANE’…IT IS THE ‘OPPORTUNITY OF THE CRISIS’ TO GO BEYOND AND RISK DOING WHAT ONE HAS NOT DONE BEFORE…THE ‘GLIMPSE’ DISPLAYS AN INNER DISTANCING FROM ONE’S ORIGINS…SOMETHING IN THE LIGHT WAVE THAT FLOWS IN THE EYES AND NERVES OF A FLOWER GIRL…A CALLING INTO ‘THE ARENA’ OF TRUE EROS AWAKENING…SOMETHING FELT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FORTRESSING…A BUBBLING UP OF NEW ANGST YET A STRENGTH OF LOVE URGENCY SUPPORTIVE IN A BELIEF THAT ONE ‘WILL’ ACCESS THE ‘GLIMPSED’…IT IS A TIME OF MARSHALLING ENERGIES AS ‘WHAT CAN BE RELEASED BECOMES AVAILABLE FOR THE ACCELERATION INTO PRESENCE…A ‘LETTING GO’ OF THE ‘SHAME’ STRUCTURED ‘PERSONALITY’ AS ONE FEELS TRUTH OF HEART IN REAL TIME EXPRESSION AND BREATH…ONE STEPS INTO THE SPIRITUAL EMPOWERMENT OF THE DRIVES OF ‘BECKONING’…TO LEARN TO ‘SEE ONESELF IN A NEW WAY’…TO UNIFY ‘ASPIRATION-INSPIRATION’ IN A DECONSTRUCTION-RECONSTITUTION CRYSTALLIZATION OF BIOGRAPHY…IT IS THE TIME OF FACING THE ‘FEARS OF A BLUE TOMORROW’…TO BEGIN TO ENCOUNTER THE ‘YESTERDAZE’ HIBERNATION ‘ALARMS’ AND ‘ALERT’ MECHANISMS DEVELOPED TO PREVENT THE ‘UNEXPECTED’…THE ‘MEDIATED’ AND CONSTRAINED ENERGIES OF THE ‘WALLED OFF’ AND THE ‘HIDDEN’ THAT LIMIT ‘EXPOSURE’…THE ‘IMAGINARY’ REALM OF ‘STORAGE BIN’ SPACES OF THE ‘EXCESSES’ WITHHELD …A POSTURAL RIGIDITY HOLDING THE ‘CART BEFORE THE HORSE’ …A ‘SPLIT-OFF’ SPIRALLING PATTERN OF ‘AVOIDANCE’ AND HYSTERIA DANGER ALARM SELF ABSORPTION… THE APPROACH-AVOIDANCE PROCESS OF SHUTTING DOWN RATHER THAN ENCOUNTERING MALE ENERGIES AND THE POTENTIAL SPLITTING OF THE DEEP FEMININE…THE ‘INTENSITY’ OF DEMANDS IN ‘TEASINGS’ AND ‘TESTINGS’ TO FILTER AS TERROR FEELINGS ARE ACTIVATED IN THE DREAD OF ‘BREAKING EGGS’…THE GROWTH PROCESS IS IN THE DISSOLUTION AND THE TIME OF DIVISION AS ‘TO AND INTO’ LEAD TO A ‘CONVULSIVENESS’ OF NEW LAVA FERTILIZATION… THE ERUPTIVENESS OF VALUE AS ONE RELEASES OUT OF THE ‘HABITS’ OF THE ‘SHAME FORTRESSING…‘TO, TWO, AND INTO’ BECOME PATH OF HEART ‘COLLISIONISM’ BRINGING FORTH WHAT IS ‘KINETIC POTENTIAL’…WHAT IS ‘EMPOWERMENT’…WHAT IS ‘GLIMPSED’…A ‘REVERSAL OF FORTUNE’ AS ENERGIES ARE CALLED FORWARD…THE ‘CREATIVE ACT’ BECOMES THE AFFIRMATION OF THE SELF OVERCOMING THE ‘INNER UNREAL’…‘ONE CANNOT REPAIR CONTROL’ AND REAL FEELINGS MUST BE ALLOWED TO FLOW BEYOND THE ‘FILTERS’ OF THE FEAR STRUCTURES OF THE ‘INNER UNREAL’…IT IS NOT THE PATHING OF A CAMELEON WHERE DISPLAYS AND MASKINGS OCCUR…IT IS THE SHEDDING OF A SKIN TO BECOME THE ‘EVE’ SERPENTINE EROS OF THE ‘FORBIDDEN’ BY THE ‘LIMITS’ OF ‘IMPOSITION ORDERING…IT IS A STRUGGLE OF ‘DIGNITY’ TO MOVE OUT OF ‘IMPRISONED’ REACTIVITY TO REAL FLOWS…THE IMAGINATIVE MAY SERVE TO CONTAIN IN PLAYING DREAMS AS DRAMA ON THE ‘ENVISIONING SCREEN’ OF SUSTAINING THE ‘ORDERING’ OF THE ‘EXTERNALIZATION’…ONE MUST DECIDE ‘WILL’ TO MOVE THROUGH THE CONTAINMENT OF THE ‘ENVELOPE’ AND ESTABLISH ONE’S OWN AUTHENTICITY RHYTHM…ONE MUST DECIDE TO ESTABLISH ONE’S OWN ‘HOME’…THE CENTERING OF ONE’S OWN HOMEOSTASIS…THE CENTERING OF ‘ELASTICITY’ AND RESILIENCE RESOLVE TO ASSERT REAL FEELINGS TO EXCEED THE CONSTRAINTS OF THE ‘ENVELOPE’ THAT IS IN THE ‘BINDINGS’ AND ‘BONDAGE’ OF FAMILY ‘ECHOIC’ INERTIA…THE IDENTITY ‘MYTHOLOGY’ WITH SOME TRUTH OF ‘GROUNDING’ YET MORE CONFINING THAN LIBERATING…ONE’S OWN ‘HOMEOSTASIS’ DEEP WITHIN THE REAL SELF YET OUTSIDE OF THE ORBITAL CONFINES OF THE HEREDITARY ‘TRIANGULATION’…THE BIRTHING OF THE ‘CREATIVE SELF’…OWNERSHIP OF ONE’S REAL ENERGIES THAT OVERCOME HABITS OF ‘WHAT CAN I LIVE WITH AND WHAT CAN I GET AWAY WITH’…THE GENERATIVE AS BEING IN REAL EXPRESSION AND ‘TRUTH OF SUCK’…AS WAGNER MUSED ‘THE FORM ELUDES ME’…THE QUEST TO ‘BECOME’ IN EMOTIONAL INDEPENDENCE OF VISION’ AND EXPRESSION…THE FUNCTION OF BEING OPEN TO ‘ENCOUNTER’…GOING WHERE THE ‘GLIMPSE’ BECKONS…EXPLORATION, CHANCE, DISCOVERY AND REDISCOVERY OF A ‘PURITY’ OF EMOTIONS IN SOUL GENERATIONS OF IDEAS AND FEELINGS…SOMETHING BECOMES FORM AS FORM FOLLOWS AND SERVES FUNCTION…THE TIME OF ENCOUNTER AS OPPORTUNITY OF THE TRUTH OF THE AFFECT OF SOMETHING IS TRANSFERRED INTO ART…THE AFFECT OF THE EXPERIENCE AS IT DOES SOMETHING TO ONE IS REFLECTED IN SOME ‘FORM’…PICASSO’S GUERNICA DISPLAYS HIS VISCERAL CREATIVE RESPONSE TO THE ‘HORROR’ OF THE MURDER BOMBINGS OF THE INNOCENT AND DEFENSELESS OF THE SPANISH TOWN OF GUERNICA IN THE LATE 1930’S…THE DEEP VOLCANIC ERUPTIVENESS THROUGH HIS SKILLS AND TOOLS OF EXPRESSION…EVERYONE HAS THE POTENTIAL TO GENERATE…MOST SIMPLY HAVE NEVER BEEN GUIDED OR SUPPORTED TO BE ‘INDEPENDENT’ AND ‘UNIQUE’ IN ‘STANDING ON ONE’S OWN’ SPEAKING ONE’S VISION AND BEING ‘UNMEDIATED’ IN ASSERTION OF ‘KNOWING’…ONE MUST ‘BREAKTHROUGH’ THE ‘EGGING’ AND ‘SEDUCTION’ MISDIRECTIONS OF THE ‘LITTLE CHILD’ ENMESHED IN THE ‘TRIANGULATION’ PATTERNS OF EARLY WOUNDEDNESS…THE WOMAN-CHILD WEBBED IN THE ‘SHESHADOWS’ AND ‘TRAUMA’ ECHOES OF A LIFETIME OF LEVERAGINGS IN BEING ‘TOO MUCH’ OF A ‘GOOD THING’…THE ‘DUTIFUL’ SON OR DAUGHTER UNABLE TO LIVE ‘ON ONE’S OWN’…THE LITTLE CHILD FEELING THE POWER COMPRESSIONS OF THE ‘IMPOSITION ORDERING’ UNABLE TO FEEL STRONG ENOUGH TO BE IN ‘EQUITY’ OR ‘EXCEED THEIR CONSTRAINTS…IT IS A RESENTMENT IN FEELINGS OF ‘CASTRATION’ AS ONE’S SEXUALITY IS ‘DENIED IN THE HEREDITY TRIANGULATION’…ONE IS TAUGHT TO ‘DIMINISH ‘IT’ AND OBTAIN ‘LOVE’ BY SATISFYING THE ‘DEMANDS’ OF ‘IMAGE’ AND LIVING WITHIN THE CONSTRAINTS OF ‘SHAME’…INEVITABLY THE ‘LITTLE ONE’ MOVES TO A CRISIS OF ‘SELF HATE’ AS ONE SPLITS OFF AND DISCOVERS ONE CANNOT SERVE THE FALSENESS OF SOMEONE ELSE’S REWARDS…ONE LEARNS TO LEAVE FOR THE NECESSITY OF REAL HEART’ THAT IS BEYOND ‘PAIN RELIEF AND ESCAPISM’…ONE CAN SEE THE ‘FLIGHT’ FROM PRESENCE IN THE LAYERINGS OF ‘TRAGIC VEILS’ OF RECURRENCE…THE REPETITIONS OF ‘WARDING AWAY’ REAL FEELINGS OF ‘GUILT AND GRIEF’ TO MASK THE TRUE FEELINGS OF RAGE AND BETRAYAL…THE LEVEL OF THE DEEP VULNERABLE SELF UNABLE TO ‘LET GO’…APPLYING THE TEST OF ‘WALKING ON EGGS’ TO ACHIEVE ‘AM-BITCHIN’ STATES TO COUNTER THE ‘OPPRESSION’ OF SO LONG AGO…THE ‘EROTIC-NEUROTIC’ NARCISSISM OF ABSORPTION TENSIONS OF ‘FLIGHT’ AND SELF DECEPTION VANITY AS ‘DENIAL’ NORMALCY BUILT INTO THE ‘SHAME CASTLE’ WALLING OFF AND FORTRESSING’…THE SOLUTION TO THE ‘FEAR OF A BLUE TOMORROW’ IS IN THE OPPORTUNITY CONSCIOUSNESS OF GRADUALLY RELEASING INTO AN ‘AS IS’ PRESENCE OF SELF…A ‘LETTING GO’ OF THE ‘TOO EARLY DEFINED’ THAT VEILS AND OBSTRUCTS DEMANDING ‘SOMETHING’ IN EXCHANGE’…THE POWER GREATER THAN LOVE SHAME BASED FORTRESSED WAY OF LIFE… A FEELING OF ‘POWERLESSNESS’ WAY OF ‘LEVERAGING’ TO ‘FORTIFY’ AND SUSTAIN THE ‘IMAGERY’ OF ‘ILLUSION’…THE ‘FANTASY’ VERSIONS OF WHAT IS NECESSARY TO ENDURE…THE IMAGE AND COSMETIC DISPLAYS OF ‘WHO I WANT YOU TO SEE AND WHO I WANT YOU TO BE’…WHERE IS THE PATH LEARNING REAL INDEPENDENCE TO OUTGROW THE KINWEBBING CONFINEMENT OF ‘ACCEPTABLE DESIRE’ THAT REQUIRES AN EVERYDAY ‘MEDIATION’ BALANCING ACT TO SUSTAIN THE NEVERENDING ‘DISTORTION’ DISEQUILIBRIUM OF ‘ENDURANCE’…THE DEGREES OF DISTORTION AND IMBALANCES NECESSARY TO ‘BE’ IN A ‘HARMONY’ WHERE ‘CONFLICT’ IS SUPPRESSED CONSTANTLY…THUS THE ‘HUNGRY GHOSTS’ OF APPETITE FEED OFF THE ‘HIDDEN AGENDA’ OF STRESSFUL IMPOSITIONS AND ENSURE THE INERTIA OF THE ‘SHAME FORTRESSING’ PREVENTING ANY REALIZATION OF REAL TRUTH OF PRESENCE…IT IS VIRGINIA WOOLF MAINTAINING THE GROUNDING OF ‘FIERCE INDEPENDENCE’ AS GRANITE WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY HOLDING THE ‘WISH’ DREAM OF THE ‘RAINBOW’ THAT ‘SHE WOULD LIKE LIFE TO BE’…THE CONTRADICTIONS CREATING STATES OF NON RESOLUTION EATING AWAY AT POTENTIAL RESOLVE…EACH DAY HER DREAMS DIE IN SLEEP AS TIME WASHES AWAY THE INITIATIVE TO BE IN ‘AS IS’… SHE LIVES IN THE SHADOWS OF AN INHERITED ‘TRIANGULATION UMBRELLA’ OF ‘DESIRE’…BEING ‘TORN’ APART BY WHAT IS REAL AND WHAT SHE IS EXPECTED TO BE…SHE YEARNS FOR THE VISCERAL ‘FIRE IN THE BELLY’…THE ‘GUTS’ BEING OPEN TO THE ‘PSYCHE SURPRISE’ OF A ‘GLIMPSED STRANGER’ MOMENT BECKONING DESTINY…THE WILL TO ACCEPT THE ACTIVATION OF REAL FEELINGS IN ‘SEEING SOMETHING JUST OUT OF REACH’ AND THE COURAGE TO MARSHALL ENERGIES INTO THE ASSERTION OF HEART’S DESIRE…SHE SEEKS TO MOVE INTO THE TRUTH OF A HUNGER THAT IS MERELY PACIFIED AND MEDIATED…A HUNGER OF HER OWN THAT IS SUPPRESSED YET YEARNS TO AWAKEN…SHE DOES NOT BELIEVE IT IS POSSIBLE TO REMOVE THE ‘HABIT’ OR THE ‘EMOTIONAL CRUTCH’ THAT HAS SERVED HER ‘SAFENESS’ FOR SO LONG…IT IS THE COURAGE OF PRESENCE…A RECOGNITION OF AN OPPORTUNITY OF ‘OMENOLOGICAL SENSIBILITY’ AS ‘ONLY THE FEW COME TO THEIR SENSES SLOWLY AND ONE AT A TIME’…THE TIME OF AN ‘OPPORTUNITY’ IN THE CRISIS’ OF SELF TO MAKE THE SIGNIFICANT CHANGE… THE ‘LEAP TO’ TIME OF A CRYSTALLIZING ENCOUNTER MOMENT OF DOING RISK FOR REAL GROWTH…THE TIME OF ACTUALLY FEELING TRUTH OF HUNGER IN SEEING THE ‘IMAGE’ OR THE ‘MODEL’ OF THE ‘GLIMPSED STRANGER’…THE RESPECT OF SELF TO GO TOWARD WHAT SURFACES… TO STEP FORWARD IN REALIZATION OF ONE BREATHING INTO ‘BECOMING’…IT IS THE CONSCIOUSNESS OF A ‘PAINTER’ KNOWING ONE DOES NOT TRY TO DEFINE ‘IT’ TOO SOON’…IT HAS TO EVOLVE AS IT ‘SURFACES’ BECOMING AS IT WISHES TO BE…IT ‘HAS A LIFE OF ITS’ OWN AND THE COURAGE TO LIVE IS IN THE WILL OF TOLERATION OF AMBIGUITY…TO BE ABLE TO GO THROUGH THE ‘OBSTACLES’ AND ‘QUICKSANDS’ OF UNHEALTHY TANGENTS AND DISTRACTIONS…TO BE ON ONE’S OWN PATH OF HEART…TO FEEL THE AFFECT OF SOMETHING AND LET IT FLOW INTO A CREATIVE ACTION…THE ‘INNER UNREAL’ WAS FORMED TO ‘ADAPT, DEFEND AND ENDURE’ AS ONE EXPERIENCES ‘POWERLESSNESS’ AND MOVES DEEP INTO ‘REACTIVITY’ TO PROTECT AGAINST THE ‘HARM’ AND SEEK TO PREVENT ITS’ RECURRENCE…IT IS ‘SHOCK’ AND ‘ISOLATION’ COMPELLING ‘ADHERENCE’ AND ‘ALLEGIANCE’…THUS ‘PERSONALITY’ STRUCTURES TO DEAL WITH THE ‘ENVIRONMENT’ AND TRUTH OF CHARACTER IS ‘HIDDEN’ IN THE UNDEVELOPED DEPTHS OF THE FORTRESSED…TRUTH OF CHARACTER OCCURS IN LIFE CRISIS WHERE ‘EMOTIONAL STRENGTHS’ SURFACE AND ‘INDIVIDUATION BREAKSTHROUGH THE ILLUSIONS OF PERSONALITY HABITS AND PATTERNS…OVERCOMING THE ‘INNER UNREAL’ AND THE GREAT IMPOSITIONS’ OF THE ‘HUNGRY GHOSTS’…THE CREATIVE ACTS LIBERATE AS ONE DECONSTRUCTS THE ‘PERSONALITY’ MODES OF IMAGE PROJECTION AND TRUTH OF CHARACTER EMERGES AS ‘REAL INNER NECESSITY’…IT IS MORE THAN MERE ENDURANCE…IT IS ‘WILL’ TO LIVE ONE’S OWN LIFE…THERE ARE A LOT OF CONTRADICTIONS AND CONFUSIONS WITHIN THAT ARE ONLY SOLVED ‘ONE STEP AT A TIME’…IT IS LEARNING TO FEEL EACH FEELING AS ONE REMOVES ‘DEPENDENCY’ FUELS AND ‘PACIFIER HABITS’…TO KNOW ‘THAT WHICH MUST BE LET GO’ IN DECONSTRUCTION OF THE ‘SHAME CASTLE’ AND TO KNOW HOW MUCH OF THE SELF FUNCTIONS IN THE ‘HALVENESS’ OR ‘DOUBLE DUALITY’ OF MING…IT BECOMES VERY COMPLEX AS ONE FACES THE ‘INNER UNREAL’, TAKES ON THE ‘APPETITES’ OF THE ‘HUNGRY GHOSTS’ AND DECIDES TO WRESTLE WITH THE ‘AMPLIFIED USEFULNESS’ OF THE RHYTHMS OF ‘MING’…ALL TO OWN ONE’S OWN SOUL…IT IS MORE THAN A ‘NEGOTIATION OF REALITY’…IT IS A DECISION TO FEEL AS NATURAL AS POSSIBLE IN THE TRUTH OF ‘AS IS’…THE MORE ONE IS ‘TIGHTLY SHAME FORTRESSED THE MORE ‘EVERYTHING’ IS AVAILABLE TO BE ‘USED’ FOR THE RHYTHMS OF ‘MING’…THE MORE ONE FIGHTS FOR ONE’S REAL SELF THE LESS ONE IS SUFFOCATED IN THE CONSTRAINTS OF FALSENESS THAT IS THE ‘FORTRESSED INNER UNREAL’…MOST DO NOT HAVE THE COURAGE TO UNVEIL AND ASSERT THEIR OWN DIRECTION…MOST MERELY ‘PLAY ONE PERSON OFF OF ANOTHER’ OR ‘MEDIATE’ BY ‘PARTITIONING’ IN ‘TEMPORARY INTENSITY’ MOMENTS OF ‘CONNECTION’…THE QUEST FOR ‘AUTHENTICITY’ REQUIRES ‘SHEDDING’ AND ‘HEART’ FOCUSED CLARITY OF ‘INTENTIONS’ TO BE ‘PRESENT’…TO DEVELOP THE SELF THAT SEEKS TO ‘BE’, LETTING GO OF ALL THE TRAPPINGS OF ‘IMPOSITIONS’ AND ‘EXPECTANCIES’, THE ‘FANTASIES, DREAMS, AND ILLUSIONS’ OF ENDURANCE…TO LET GO OF THE ‘PATTERNS’ OF ‘WHAT ONE ‘DID’ FOR LOVE AND PAIN RELIEF’ AND BREATHE INTO THE STRENGTH OF RESPECT AND ONE’S OWN TRUE JOURNEY… TO RESPECT THE SURFACINGS AND NOT ‘SHUT DOWN’…TO APPRECIATE THE VALUE OF THE ‘SURPRISE’ AND THE UNKNOWN… THE FEELINGS ACTIVATED IN RESPONSE TO THE ‘GLIMPSED’ WHO IS ‘JUST OUT OF REACH’…THE ‘DREAM’ TIME OF ‘DREAMS ECHO DEEPLY’…THE FOLLOW YOUR ‘DREAMS’ AND BRING THEM INTO PRESENCE…THE ‘HEART OF HEALING AND THE COURAGE TO ENCOUNTER…TO CREATE…IT IS THE ‘WISDOM OF MINERVA’ KNOWING THE ‘IMPORTANCE OF SERIOUS CHANGE’…THE REALIZATION THAT THE ‘INNER UNREAL SHAME FORTRESSING’ AND THE EROSTOCRACY IMPOSITION OF PATTERNS OF ‘REDIRECTED REPRODUCTIVE’ ENERGIES IS CONSUMING MORE AND MORE OF ONE’S LIFE FORCE…ONE HAS TO ASSERT TO CLAIM AND MARSHALL…TO EXPRESS…IT IS THE DEPTH OF ‘WILFULNESS ALTERING’ INTO TRUTH OF ‘WILL’…A DETERMINATION TO BE REAL…A DECONSTRUCTION AS ‘THINGS FALL APART AND THE CENTER DOES NOT HOLD’… SOMETHING HAS TO DIE IN ORDER FOR SOMETHING NEW TO BE BORN…THE ‘MEDIATION’ SEEKS TO SUSTAIN THE ‘STATE’ OF CONTINUITY YET LEARNS THE ‘FAILURE’ THAT IS IN THE ASHES IS THE REAL OPPORTUNITY OF NEW GROWTH…THE ‘INNER UNREAL’ COLLAPSES AND IS BURNED DOWN JUST LIKE THE DEATH AND HOUSE IMMOLATION OF ‘GILBERT GRAPE’S EXCESSIVELY OBESE MOTHER IN THE FILM ‘WHAT’S EATING GILBERT GRAPE’…THE ‘SHAME’ IS WHAT MUST BE ‘BURNED AWAY’ IN ORDER TO OWN YOUR OWN SOUL…HEART IS WHAT EMERGES…HEART THAT HAS DISTILLED THE WISDOM OF WHAT MATTERS…HEART THAT SURVIVES THE DISMEMBERMENT OF THE ‘DIONYSIAN’ AND RECONSTITUTES INTO FULLNESS OF BEING…HEART THAT KNOWS ITSELF BEYOND THE ‘MEDIATION’ OF ‘FORCES’ AND ‘DECEPTIONS’…HEART THAT KNOWS THE HUMAN AND SEES THE ‘TRIVIAL’ OF THE CULTURE JUXTAPOSED WITH THE ‘SINCERE’… HEART THAT FINDS OTHER ‘HEART’ IN WAYS OF ENCOUNTER AND ‘CONNECTION’…THE ‘CRISIS-RISK-OPPORTUNITY’ MOMENT IS A TIME OF ‘GLIMPSE’ TO SEE A WAY OF OVERCOMING THE ‘SELF’…THE TIME OF OVERCOMING THE ‘MASTER’S DOUBLE’…THE ‘KA’ OF ‘PERSONALITY’ OR ‘PERFORMANCE’ INERTIA THAT INTERACTS WITH AND IS REWARDED BY THE WORLD…THE ‘DOUBLE’ AS ‘HALF’ THAT MAY SUCK THE REAL VITALITY OUT OF ONE’S BEING…THE ‘AMPLIFIED USEFUL’ MEDIUM OR PERFORMANCE SAVANT THAT MEDIATES IN AN ‘APPEASEMENT’ BELIEVING ‘SUCCESS’ WILL MAKE IT WORTH IT EVEN AS THE CLOCK TICKS AWAY…THE ANGER IN FEELING ONE IS A ‘BATTERY’ OF ‘AMPLIFIED USEFULNESS’…THE KNOWLEDGE THAT ONE IS ‘CHARGED’ IN A ‘PATTERN’ THAT IS ‘SEQUENTIALLY’ EVOLVING…ONE IS ‘PART OF A LARGER RESONANCE’…ONE IS ‘MAX ‘INDIVIDUATED’ IN CHARGED ‘MERIDIAN’ STREAMINGS TO ACCENTUATE THE ‘VALUED’ TRAIT, SKILL, TALENT, OR WAY OF BEING…ONE BECOMES ‘GIFTED’ AND ‘UNIQUE’ AS ‘AMPLIFIED USEFULNESS’ IS THE ‘TRADE’ AND EXCHANGE ‘PLACE’ OF CONNECTION…THE ‘AGREED UPON ‘STATE’ OF ‘SHARED ENERGY EXCHANGE’…THE ‘MEETING’ OF ‘ONE’S NATURE’ IN ENCOUNTER WITH THE NATURE OF THE GUIDANCE OF A ‘CURRENT MASTER…A ‘MING’ GUIDE FROM A HIGHER PLANE OF CONSCIOUSNESS…THE ‘KA’ OR ‘DOUBLE’ STATE IS THE SPIRIT ‘PRESENCE’ IN ‘MING’ UNITY OF HEAVENS AND EARTH ORDERING…A ‘PERFECTION’ OF SYSTEMIC RESONANCE AS ‘NAMES AS FRAMES’ ARE THE ‘RIGHT PERSON IN THE RIGHT TIME AND POSITIONING’…THE ‘OVERALL HARMONY’ OF ‘MING’ EXTERNALIZATION… THE RAWAR ‘HIP WARS’ SENSIBILITY OF ‘ENERGY’ AMPLIFICATION THROUGH ‘KA’ STRUCTURING OF ‘ELECTRONIC SURROGATES’… THE INDIVIDUAL ‘HALVED’ OR ‘AMPLIFIED’ IN ‘DUALITY’ AS THE ‘DOUBLE’…THE ‘W’ ECHO OF A ‘STATE’ OF RESONANCE…THE ‘INTENSITY’ BLINDNESS OF ‘TOO MUCH’ CHANNELLING THROUGH A LIMITED ‘MERIDIAN PATTERN’…THE ‘ACCENTUATION’ STREAMING OF ‘AMPLIFIED USEFULNESS’ WHERE ‘TOO MUCH’ OF A ‘GOOD THING’ IS ‘REDIRECTED REPRODUCTIVENESS’ IN TOO LIMITED A MODE OF ‘PERFORMANCE’…THE ‘TOO MUCH’ THAT DRAWS FROM THE FULLNESS OF THE SELF INTO A ‘NARROWED’ PATTERN OF ‘EXCELLENCE’…THE ‘GIFT’ ALWAYS HAS A ‘PRICE’ AS ONE MUST FOLLOW ‘ONE’S BLISS OR ‘PASSION’ OF LIVING YET SEEK DEEP HARMONY AND CIRCULATION OF THE RANGINGS OF ‘YIN TO YANG’ ENERGIES…IT IS A ‘PSYCHE’ BLINDNESS WHERE ‘CONVULSIVENESS’ MAY SIMPLY LEAD TO REPETITION BECOMING ‘MORE SO’ INSTEAD OF LEARNING TO STEP TOWARDS THE ‘GLIMPSE’ OF ‘DESTINY’…THE DIFFERENCE IN FUELINGS, ‘ASSOCIATIONS, ‘INTELLIGENCE’ AND ‘HEALTHY DISTRIBUTIONS’ ACCESSING A FULLER CIRCULATION OF ‘WISE BLOOD’…THE ‘ELECTROMAGNETIC’ MERIDIAN STREAMINGS BECOME MORE FULLY DISTRIBUTED AS ON LEARNS ‘THAT WHICH MUST BE LET GO’ AND ‘WHAT ESSENCES ARE DISTILLED’…TO QUESTION THE ‘STATE’…TO ‘REALIZE’ THE SIMPLICITY’ OF ONE’S ‘STATE’…TO KNOW THE ‘DOUBLE’’ AS A ‘STATE’ OF ‘INDENTURED OR WILLING SERVITUDE’…A STATE WHERE ONE SEES HOW MUCH ONE IS IN ‘AMPLIFIED USEFULNESS’ AND HOW MUCH OF THE REAL SELF IS ‘CORRIDORED’ INTO MERIDIAN FLOW OF ROLE OR PERFORMANCE…TO SEE THE ‘STATE’ BEYOND BEING ‘SOUND BLIND’…TO SEE THE ‘PRESSURE COOKER’ OF CONSTANCY WHICH MIRRORS AND DISPLAYS ‘MING’ ORDERING…THE ‘NAMES AS FRAMES’ STATE OF ‘TREATMENT AND ‘CHARGED’ PATTERNS OF ‘ACCENTUATED’ ROLES…THE EXTERNALIZED AND THE PROJECTED REPRESENTATIONS OF THE ‘MING’ AMPLIFIED DEFINITION OF THE SELF…THE ‘GREAT’ IMPOSITION ORDERING’ ON THE EDGE OF THE ‘PLANE’ OF ‘HIGHER BEINGS’…IT IS A CONSCIOUSNESS DETERMINATION…AN INTELLIGENCE TO ‘TAKE CHARGE’ OF ‘ONE’S OWN BEING’…ONE’S OWN SOUL… KNOWING ‘THAT WHICH MUST BE LET GO’ AND ‘WHAT IS ESSENTIAL’…THE ‘GLIMPSE MAY BE MERELY A ‘COLLISIONISM’ MOMENT FOSTERING FRUSTRATION AND ‘PATTERN RECURRENCE’…A MOMENT CALLING FORTH THE ‘FATIGUE’ AND ‘WARINESS’ OF THE ONGOING ‘MEDIATION’ ENDURANCE BATTLE…THE ‘NEGOTIATED REALITY OF ‘ACCEPTANCE’ AND ‘SURRENDER’ TO MING ‘AMPLIFIED USEFULNESS’… THE ‘STEAMROLLER AFFECT’ OF A DANGER SPIRAL WHERE ONE ‘LOSES’ MORE AND MORE OF ONE’S REAL IN ORDER TO ‘SATISFY’ THE PRESSURES OF THE ‘MING’ AS WELL AS THOSE OF THE HUNGRY GHOSTS OF APPETITE WITHIN…A ‘LOSS’ OF SOUL…A ‘POTENTIAL’ LONG TERM ‘SOUL MURDER’…A ‘STATE’ OF ‘FAILURE’ FEELING ‘OWNED’ BY THE ‘CURRENT MASTER’…IT IS THE ‘QUIET VIOLENCE’ OF COMPLIANCE AS INDIVIDUALS LEARN TO BECOME ‘MORE’ VIA ‘REDIRECTED REPRODUCTIVENESS’…THE QUESTING OF SEEKING TO ‘COUNTER’ THE FEELINGS OF THE ‘TYRANNY OF POWERLESSNESS’…THE ‘BY WHATEVER MEANS’ EVEN THROUGH THE COST’ OF BODILY INTEGRITY’ OF BEING A ‘COG’ IN THE ORDERING OF ‘MING’…‘SUPERVISED FREEDOM’…THE ‘OWNERSHIP’ AS A ‘HAVE TO HAVE’ GAME OF ‘CURRENT RULERS’ MANAGING THE TALENTS, PERFORMERS AND BEINGS…THE ‘DOUBLE’ OR ‘KA’ PERFECTION OF ‘MING’ ORDERING…THE ‘CURRENT RULERS’ RULING THE ‘DEAD’ OR ‘DOUBLE’ STATE OF SOULS…THE ‘ENERGY’ OF THE ‘YIN TO YANG’ RANGE OF ONE’S CREATIVE CAPACITY AS THE ‘WELL-STEIN’ BEING ‘CHARGED’ IN ‘MING’ AMPLIFIED USEFULNESS…AN ‘EMOTIONAL DESERT’ TERRAIN OF ‘HALVES’ OF CHARGED BATTERY VALUE, RESONANCE OF REPRESENTATIVE STATES AND ECONOMIC/SOCIAL GENERATIVITY…IT IS THE RHYTHM OF AN EROSTOCRACY AS A SEXOMONEY MEDIA MACHINE PERCOLATING AND CHURNING ‘ONE OUT OF MANY’… THE GENERATION OF ‘ROLE MODELS’ AND ELECTRONIC SAVANT SEEDS CREATING WAVES OF THE FUTURE…THE DEEPLY SOURCED TALENTS, PERFORMERS, MEDIUMS AND COGS OF A NEW RHYTHM…A NEW ORDERING AS FUEL FOR THE FEW AND THE AWE FASCINATION FOR THE MANY…‘AMPLIFIED USEFULNESS’…THE ‘ZONED’ STATES OF ‘DUALITY’…THE ‘KA’ OR ‘DOUBLE’ AS A ‘TAXED PSYCHE’ WHERE ‘LOAN’ ‘LY’ NORMALCY LIMITS REAL GROWTH…THE ‘HALF’ OR ‘DOUBLE’ OF THE ‘EMPIRE’ CONSTANCY OF DAY AFTER DAY…THE ‘LOAN’ OF ‘LY’ AS THE METHOD OF AMPLIFICATION, THE ‘ADVERB’ OF MOTION…THE EDGE OF THE RHYTHMS OF THE ‘COLLECTIVE OF INDIVIDUALS’ WHO ARE ‘DOUBLED’ IN THE ‘PERFECTION OF MING’…DEEP CONFLICT OF ENERGY…DEEP PLACES OF ‘LOYALTY’ AND ‘FAMILY’ ALLEGIANCES…DEEP ZONINGS OF ‘NECESSITY’ TO DECONSTRUCT THE ‘SHAME FORTRESS’ AND DUEL WITH THE PACIFIERS MAINTAINING THE ‘CONTROLS’ OF THE ‘HUNGRY GHOSTS’…DEEP VULNERABILITY OF FEELING ‘LACK’ AS BEING ‘OF SERVICE’ IN ‘AMPLIFIED USEFULNESS’ SEDUCES AS THE ‘SIGNAL STOPS TIME FOR THE DURATION OF ITS USE’ AND BLOCKS THE ‘MEMORY OF THE MOMENT’…THE ‘DEAD SOUL’ STATES OF ‘ELECTRONIC SURROGATES’ OF REPRESENTATION AS WELL AS THE EXCESSIVELY SAVANTED STATES OF ‘ATHLETE/PERFORMERS…IT IS ‘TOO MUCH’ OF A GOOD THING AS ‘LEVERAGED’… ‘TOO MUCH’ OF THE SELF CHANNELLED INTO ‘ROLE’ AS ‘THE REAL FULLNESS’ OF A POTENTIALLY HEALTHY CIRCULATION DISTRIBUTION’ IS STREAMED THROUGH A RECURRENT ‘MERIDIAN’ CORRIDORING…AS STELLA ADLER SAID ‘THE TALENT IS IN THE CHOICE’…‘TOO MUCH CHANNELLED THROUGH TOO NARROW’ OF A DISTRIBUTION…A GREAT OPPORTUNISM IN ‘ACHIEVING’ AND LEVERAGING TO EXCEL YET A LONG TERM PRICE OF POSSIBLE LOSS OF ‘HEALTHY PHYSIOLOGY’…THE ‘OMENSPEAK DISTORTIONS OVERWHELM’ AS THE TALENTS ARE ‘COOPTED’ AND BECOME ESSENTIAL TO THE MOMENTUM OF EMPIRE…‘OMENSPEAK’…THE ‘SYMBOLIC’ REPRESENTATION OF ‘ECHOIC TIMBRE’ IN ‘MING’ UNIFICATION OF THE ENERGIES OF THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH…THE ‘CURRENT RULERS’ MODE OF ‘NAMES AS FRAMES’ CHARGES OF ‘AMPLIFIED USEFULNESS’… THE ‘OMENSPEAK’ AS THE SOURCING OF THE ‘ECHOES’ IN THE ‘COMMON SHARING’ OF COMMUNITY AWARENESS… WHAT ‘MAKES’ THE ‘SYSTEM A ‘SOUND’ SYSTEM’…‘TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING’…THE ‘ELECTRONIC DISILLUSIONMENT’ STATES OF ‘EXHAUSTION’ AND DEEPLY IMPRINTED DISAPPOINTMENTS…THE STATES OF THE ‘UTILITY ZONED’ FEELING ‘BROW BEATEN’ IN AN ‘APPEASEMENT’ AS ‘PAWN’ AND ‘PUPPET’ MODE…THE ‘PARROT’ TEMPOS OF ELECTRONIC SURROGATES OF ‘REPRESENTATION’…THE ‘MEDIUM’ PASS-THROUGH AWARENESS OF ‘BEING USED’…THE ‘MEDIUM’ OR CHANNEL BECOMING FRUSTRATED IN A ‘RESISTANCE’ AS ONE’S ‘LIFE’ INDEPENDENCE IS ‘MEDIATED’ INTO AN ‘AGREED UPON’ STATE OR PERFORMANCE…ONE EXPERIENCES THE ‘IT’ AS ‘SOUND BLINDNESS’ AS THE ‘ACTION’ OR ‘SKILL’ IS ENHANCED IN A WAY THAT THE REMOTE ‘SIGNAL STOPS THE MEMORY OF THE MOMENT’ EVEN AS ONE BECOMES MORE PROFICIENT IN ‘DOING’…IT IS ‘UNHEARD’, ‘INVISIBLE’ AND TOTALLY DEMANDING AS ‘URGENCY’ OR ‘DESIRE’ DRIVES ONE TO ‘JUST DO IT’…MOST ONLY SEE THE ‘BUFFER CLASS’ OF MEDIA ATHLETES, ENTERTAINERS, AND PERFORMERS THAT BLOCK THE RESIDENTS OF THE MIDDLE OF THE PYRAMID FROM SEEING HOW THE ‘UNHEARD SOUND’ AMPLIFIES AND ‘ACCENTUATES’ TALENTS IN ‘INCREMENTAL WAYS’…IT IS AN ‘ENERGY’ CHARGE OF A ‘WAY’ OR A PATTERN OF ‘PERFORMANCE’…IT IS ‘HEALING’ AS ‘COOL FIRE’ ENERGIES TO ASSIST ONE TO MAXIMIZE A ‘GIFT’…TO EXCEED EARLIER LIMITS…TO MOVE TOWARDS THAT ‘GLIMPSE OF THE STRANGER’ THAT SEEMS ‘OUT OF REACH’…THE OPPORTUNITY TO MOVE TOWARD THE DISSOLUTION OF THE UNREAL SELF AS ONE ‘KNOWS THAT WHICH MUST BE LET GO’…IS IT ALWAYS THE ‘CARROT AND THE STICK’ OF DRIVES TO REALIZE’ OR DOES ONE HAVE AN ‘INHERENT VALUE’ SIMPLY TO GROW AND BECOME A FULLY REALIZED HEALTHY PERSON…ONE MUST SEE WITH THE HEART AS WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS INVISIBLE TO THE EYE…THE ST. EXUPERY LE PETIT PRINCE BELIEF…TO FOCUS THROUGH THE HEART OF A WILL OF CONNECTION…TO MEET IN THE DREAM EVOLUTION INTO PRESENCE…‘ANGER OR REVOLT THAT DOES NOT BECOME PART OF THE MUSCLES AND FIBERS OF THE BODY REMAINS A FIGMENT OF THE IMAGINATION’…SIMONE DE BEAUVOIRTHUS, THE MINIMAL FEW HAVE GREAT DIFFICULTY IN CHALLENGING ‘AS IS’ BECAUSE THE ‘RHYTHMS’ ARE SO FAR OUT OF REACH…TO GLIMPSE THE CULTURE, TO SEE THE POTENTIAL OF REDIRECTION, TO REDUCE THE DISTORTIONS AND BE IN REALISM…TO REMOVE THE ILLUSIONS OF THE ‘BIONIC’ AND THE ‘ACCENTUATED’ AND THEREBY REDUCE THE GAP BETWEEN THE ACTUAL AND THE ‘AMPLIFIED’…IT IS ABOUT THE INERTIA OF THE SEXOMONEY MEDIA EROS MACHINE…THE OVERWHELMING OF THE TALENTED FEW AND THE AWE STRUCK ‘MANY’…THE PROCESS OF GENERATING ‘EMULATION’ AND ‘PERSONALITY’ CONSUMPTION AND IMITATION MONEYMAKING…IT IS PERSONALITY AND PRODUCT ASSOCIATION RATHER THAN ‘CHARACTER’ DEVELOPMENT…THE ‘OPPOSITION FEW’ ARE NEUTRALIZED AND SILENCED IN THE MOMENTUM OF ‘EMPIRE’…IT IS SEEING AND WANDERING IN THE LAND OF THE UNITED STATES OF DREAMS WHERE SO MANY ‘HALVES’ ARE LOOKING FOR ‘WHOLES’ AS THEY ARE MANAGED IN THE ONGOING MOMENT OF A MING FOCUSED ‘HAVE TO HAVE’ GAME OF THE FEW SEEKING ADVANTAGE AS ‘HAVE MORES’…THE ‘SUPERVISED FREEDOM OF SAVANTS, MEDIUMS AND TALENTS AS DEFINED IN ‘MING’ OWNERSHIP OF THE ‘DOUBLE’ STATES OF ‘PERFECTION’…‘BUY THIS AND BECOME THIS’… ‘BE JUST LIKE MIKE’…WEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S IDENTITY…THE FEAR OF THE ‘BLUE TOMORROW’ IS REFLECTED IN THE INFANTILE ARRESTED MIRRORING OF THE ‘CHILD WOMAN’…THE MOMENT OF THE ‘INSTANT’ IMAGE THAT PERMITS ONE TO ‘MOVE’ ON…FILLING THE PLACE THAT BECKONS AS ‘EMPTINESS’…THE ‘POPCORN’ AND ‘SODA POP’ MOVE ‘V’ PLACE OF FEELINGS BEYOND THE FAMILIAR…IT IS ‘RUNNING DOWN’ THE DREAM WHEREVER IT LEADS AND ACHIEVING ‘THAT WHICH MUST BE LET GO’…THEREIN IS THE TERRAIN OF ‘PERSISTENT ENERGY’ ORDERED TO THE CONTROLS OF THE ‘HUNGRY GHOSTS’…THE POTENTIAL PLACE OF CREATIVITY AS IN A NUCLEAR PERCOLATION OF CLAIMING ONE’S OWN VOLCANIC LAVA FLOWS…HE QUITS SMOKING CIGARETTES AND TRANSFERS NICOTINED NERVES INTO NEW GROWTH AND CREATIVE EXPRESSION…EXPRESSING THE REAL ‘AFFECTS’ OF HOW THE WORLD COMPRESSES IN ON HIM…SHE FEELS A VULNERABLE DUALITY AS HER ‘HALVENESS’ SENSES COMPLY ‘ROBBING PETER TO PAY PAUL’ IN ORDER TO BE THE ‘PERFECTION’ OF MING IN A FORM OF ‘INDENTURED SERVITUDE’…A ‘PUPPETRY FEELING’ OF ‘AWMATON’ ROBOTICISM OF AMPLIFIED USEFULNESS…A TIME OF DEFINING TO OVERCOME POWERLESSNESS AND CONFUSION…THE DEVELOPMENTAL PATHING FROM AN ‘AUTHORITATIVE’ FORCE… THE ‘SAVANTING’ TENDENCY’ OF CHANNEL AND PATTERN LEVERAGINGS TO RECEIVE REWARDS FOR ‘COMPLIANCE’…TO BE…OR ‘NOT TO BE’…THE ‘FEAR OF A BLUE TOMORROW’…THE LIMITS AND HESITANCIES OF POTENTIAL GROWTH…EVERY BREATH COMPRESSED IN A COMPLIANCE REACTIVITY TO BE AS ‘EXPECTED’ OR ‘DEFY’ AS ANGERED…A GREAT KINWEBBING OF OPPRESSION WITH NO GUIDANCE TO BE ACCEPTED FOR WHO ONE ACTUALLY IS…THE FEAR OF A BLUE TOMORROW…TO SEE THE ‘OMENOLOGICAL SENSIBILITY’ OF THE ‘GLIMPSE’ THAT BECKONS AND HOW ONE DECIDES ‘THAT WHICH MUST BE LET GO’ AND ‘TRUTH OF PRESENCE’…

SEXUALITY IN GREAT NATURE OF GREAT CREATIVE PEOPLE...

INERTIA OF FAMILY IN BARBICAN KINWEBS...WHO ACCESSES REAL INSTINCTS BEYOND SOCIAL MEDIATIONS OF EXPECTANCY IMPOSITIONS

ENVY AND THE HIDDEN-DIALOGUE AT END OF THIS SECTION

FOR SHE WAS DRAWN TO IDEALIZATIONS OF MEN RATHER THAN REALIZATIONS OF MEN...

TENDENCY...INERTIA

PATTERN AND CORRIDORINGS

ECHOIC TIMBRE OF FAMILIARITY IN RECURRENCE

FOR YOU CANNOT REPAIR CONTROL...IT IS THE CHANGE IN HEALTHY SHIFTS...THE MOVING OUT OF MEDIATIONS AND VISION OR IDEALIZATION...IT IS NOT THE IDEA OR CART BUT THE ACTUAL THAT IS REALNESS WITHOUT THE CONTAINERING CONTROLS OF IMPOSITIONS ...BEING AS ONE WAS TAUGHT...IS TAUT...IS IN INTENSITY DENSITY WHERE FORTRESSINGS MAINTAIN WOONDEADNESS AS STRATEGY OF DESIRES...MEANS OF IMITATIONS THAT FOCUS THROUGH AN OBJECT OR OTHER...IT IS THE TIME OF SPLITTING DEPTHS OF CHARLES RICHTER IN MAGNITUDES OF MOMENTS...OF QUAKES AND ACXHES...OF LAVA AND SECRETIONS...A RICHTER TURBULENCE IN RELATIONS OF ORGASMIC WILL TO BE...THE POTENCY OF OPPOSITE IN TRANSFORMATIVE LOVE...

THE MEETINGS IN CALLING AND COMING FORWARD IN TRUTH OF URGENCY...

FOR HE SAID... 'I WANT A WOMAN WHO HAS A TASTE FOR MEN'...

TO MOVE BEYOND THE HYPERSENSUALISED EROS SELF ABSORBED WITH A SENSE OF DISTANCE IN AUTO EROTIC AND POWER GREATER THAN LOVE QUESTS...TO MOVE IN WILL OF CONNECTION BEYOND NARCISSISM INTO REAL INTIMACY...TO BE BEYOND THE MIRRORINGS AND SIMILARS OF 'WANTING TO BE WANTED' THAT DO 'RECIPROCITY' AND 'KINDNESS'...TO BE IN PRESENCE OF HEART TO EXPRESS FULLNESS WITHOUT THE 'CONTROL-CONTAINERING' OF CONTROL OF OUTCOMES...

AND SHE KNEW SHE WANTED A MAN UNLIKE HER FATHER...A MAN WHO HAD A TASTE FOR WOMEN...REAL DESIRE IN A DISTANCE FROM ORIGINS...

TRUTH OF URGENCY OUT OF FALSE IDOLS AND IMAGE MAKING...

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

ENVY AND THE HIDDEN

'HOW MUCH PAIN IS ONE WILLING TO SUFFER AND ENDURE IN ORDER TO AVOID KNOWING THE REAL SELF...TO SEE DESIRE AND NEED BECOME PAIN STATES WHEN SATISFACTIONS ARE UNDULY POSTPONED'


http://shockimpact.blogspot.com


http://hsingways1.blogspot.com






'SIZE MATTERS' JANET SAID. 'BIG IS BETTER'...YOU KNOW, SOMETHING TO FILL THE NOTHING...TO 'MAKE THE BORDERS' AND 'CONTROL THE TERRITORY'...TO 'FILL IN THE GAPS' AND MAKE EVERYTHING RIGHT...MY GROUNDING SPACE...MY HOMEOSTASIS SPACE...


IT IS THE EROS-CREATIVE-SACRED SOURCING ZONE OF OUR 'ACTIVATION-REACTIVITY' BEHAVIORS OF ANTICIPATION AND VIGILANCE...THE 'CONTROL' EXPECTANCY DEFENSE AGAINST EXPOSURE OF NERVES SPACE...


IT IS THE WAYS AND WILES OF OUR 'COATINGS, PADDINGS, DAMS, BLOCKS, FORTRESSINGS, FILTERS'...THE GREAT SUFFERINGS WE DO TO OUR SELF IN 'DENIAL'...


IT IS THE 'INTENSITY-DENSITY' WE BECOME ADDICTED TO IN OUR REPETITIONS, AS IF WE WERE CHILDREN, WATCHING THE SAME MOVIE OVER AND OVER AGAIN...






'YOU GOT THAT RIGHT' SAID CYNTHIA...WHO WANTS TO FEEL VULNERABLE?...'YOU KNOW I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR SAYING, BUT WHO WANTS TO BE CONSTANTLY HYPERVIGILANT?






JANET LOOKED AT CYNTHIA WITH A BIG SMILE...'WELL, MAYBE IT'S THE 'RIGHT SIZE FOR THE RIGHT PLACE' IS A BETTER WAY OF TALKING ABOUT IT'...SORTA LIKE BEING IN THE 'MOOD' IS AS 'HANDSOME IS AS HANDSOME DOES'...






MAYBE IT IS 'TOO MUCH OF SOMETHING MAY NOT BE GOOD' FOR YOU...LIKE GETTING TOO MUCH ICE CREAM MAKES YOU AVOID IT...AT LEAST FOR AWHILE'...






'NO, IT IS NOT THE SAME THING AS BEING 'SATIATED' WITH TOO MUCH ICE CREAM...IT IS HEALTHY CHANGE OF LEARNING 'GOING TO' INSTEAD OF CONTROLLING AND THWARTING AGAINST'...IT IS THE SPIRIT OF ADVENTURE AND CURIOSITY IN 'COMING FORWARD' THAT CHANGES DIRECTION OUT OF VANITY FEAR HABITS THAT MAINTAIN 'CONTROL' IN DENIAL AND DEFENSIVENESS...






'WELL, I LIKE TO FEEL THAT I AM IN CONTROL'...SAID JANET ASSERTIVELY.


'AFTER ALL IT IS MY BODY THAT WE ARE DEALING WITH HERE'...'ESPECIALLY WHEN I HAVE THAT MOMENT...THAT WONDROUS FEELING MOMENT OF MEETING MY STUFF WITH HIS STUFF...THAT TIMING WHEN ALL IS FULL AND ALIVE'...WHEN NOTHING IS HELD BACK BECAUSE I GET TO BE TOTALLY ME'...






'UH HUH, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU DID THAT, IF EVER'...






'MMMM, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN...WHEN THE DAM BREAKS, WHEN THE LAVA STREAMS, WHEN THE STEAMINGS ARE WHERE THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE'...






'UH HUH, YEP...DREAM ON...YOU TWO 'GET NUMBED' BEFORE YOU 'GET IT ON' SO WHO KNOWS WHAT REALLY HAPPENS...'CEPT THAT THE INTENSITY MAKES THE PAIN GO AWAY UNTIL THE NEXT DAY OR SO...






ITS BETTER THAN NOTHING........






WELL, THAT CERTAINLY IS A GOOD STRATEGY TO GET 'WHAT YOU SAY THAT YOU WANT'...A POWERFUL SEDUCTION STRATEGY...EVEN IF IT HAS BECOME SO PREDICTABLE IN ITS 'FAMILIARITY'...AS THEY SAY 'FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT'...






AT LEAST I HAVE SOMETHING TO PLAN ON...TO LOOK FORWARD TO 'SATURDAY NIGHT' WITH THE DINNER, WINE, A MOVIE AND SEX...IT IS DIFFICULT TO DO ANYTHING WITHOUT SCHEDULING THE TIME...






'Y'KNOW IT IS SOME KINDA VIOLENCE THAT YOU TWO DO...IT IS 'ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT' AS MUCH AS 'GREAT FEAR' AS THE EXCESSES OF CONVULSIVENESS AND SENSORY STRAININGS...SORT OF GETTING THE 'HIGH-PITCHED INTENSITY-DENSITY' TO COUNTER WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE NATURAL...


IT IS AS IF 'YOU ARE IN INVAGINATION', A NICE EUPHEMISM I MIGHT SAY, AND HE IS IN MASTURBATION OR 'BEING A JERK-OFF...


YEAH...Y'KNOW LIKE YOU GET INTO YOUR OWN ROMANCE DREAM IN 'BOMBING YOURSELF' AND HE JUST 'GOES ALONG FOR THE RIDE'...






'SO WHAT...WHO ARE YOU TO CRITICIZE...WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW...YOU'RE ALWAYS 'FUSSIN' WITH YOUR CAT AS SOME 'ALICk' IN WONDERLAND' WHO RUBS IT 'MAKING IT BIGGER' AND THEN 'MAKING IT SMALLER' JUST TO PRACTICE YOUR CONTROL IN 'STAYING IN THE SAME SPACE'...LIKE YOU'RE LOST IN YOUR OWN DREAMS...'NO WONDER YOU CAN'T FIND AND HOLD A MAN'...






'IT JUST GETS BORING DOING THE SAME STUFF ALL THE TIME...AH, MEN ARE SO EASY TO CONTROL...THEY THINK WITH THEIR DICKS AND ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS SUCK IT ONCE IN AWHILE'...WHERE IS THE ADVENTURE, THE RISK AND THE PLAY...FOR YOU THE 'FOREPLAY' IS SORT OF A GAME OF 4 PLAY...A BAITING AND FLIRTING DANCE OF KEEPING EACH OTHER OFF BALANCE...






'4 PLAY'?






WELL, IT'S LIKE THERE ARE 2 OF EACH OF YOU IN GAMES OF POWER-CONTROL...THE 'WANTING TO BE WANTED' AND 'VALUED' IN A NARCISSISM OF VANITY-FEARS WHERE 'LOVE' IS MERELY PART OF A TENNIS MATCH OF NETS AND COURTINGS...






HEY I GOT ENOUGH DANGER AND RISK JUST GOING DOWN THE STREET TO THE STORE...






YOU KNOW, EVERYONE SAYS THAT LOVE IS SUPPOSED TO BE SOMETHING 'MORE WITHIN' AS THE WAYS OF INTIMACY IS CREATIVE AND MORE LASTING THAN THE 'STRANGENESS OF A STRANGER-LOVER' ENCOUNTER...IT IS COURAGE IN FACING ONESELF IN SOMETHING INTIMATE AS 'BAGGAGE' IS LEFT OUTSIDE THE DOOR...






'WHY WOULD I WANT TO GET RID OF THE 'WILES AND WAYS' THAT ARE MY POWER, SPELL-CASTINGS AND MYSTERY?'...






WELL, WE BOTH KNOW THAT YOU ARE JUST A PARTITIONED 'EROTIC-NEUROTIC' WHO LIVES IN VANITY FEAR OF BEING ALONE WITH YOUR IMAGE CONSTRUCTIONS...YOU LIKE TO STAY IN THAT BLANCHE DUBOIS MODE OF 'I DON'T WANT REAL, I WANT MAGIC'...YOU LIKE TO SEE YOURSELF AS THE 'LOLITA INGENUE' WHO HIDES IN HYSTERIA 'MIMESIS' WEBBINGS...






MIMESIS...WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN...






IT MEANS THAT YOU IMITATE AND PLAY ROLES...YOU PREFER FANTASY GREATER THAN PRESENCE...






SO...HOW CAN I GET MY NEEDS MET WHEN I KNOW HE WILL USE MY VULNERABILITY AGAINST ME...I HAFTA HAVE COSMETICS AND MASKS TO GET HIM TO BE WHAT HE WANTS ME TO BE...






YOU ALREADY USE YOUR 'VULNERABILITY' TO MANIPULATE AND SEDUCE HIM...TO BAIT...TO OWN HIM...TO THWART AND CONTROL HIS SEXUALITY...YOU 'PARTITION' HIM INTO A PERFORMING 'STUD' AND THEN TREAT HIM WITH 'NOT GOOD ENOUGH' WAYS OF 'EXCITING BITCHERY' TO KEEP HIM OFF BALANCE... JUST LIKE YOU TREAT EVERYONE...






IT IS A GAME WE PLAY...WE BUILD POWER INTENSITY...A GAME OF HIDE AND SEEK WHERE THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH BEING APART THAT ONE CAN BE...AN ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT MOVING IN CHAMELEON MASKINGS TO GET MORE POWER AS A WAY TO ENTER THE WORLD...AS 2 NARCISSISTS DEEPLY ENMESHED WHO LOVE YET SEEK FREEDOM TO BE ON THEIR OWN...TRYING TO GET THE SELF ESTEEM TO HAVE PERSONAL WORTH...THEIR UNITY IS THE TEMPORARY MEANS OF MOVING TO A SENSE OF INDEPENDENCE EVEN AS THEY ARE DEPENDENT ON ONE ANOTHER TO SUSTAIN THE 'IDEA VERSION OF SELF' THAT IS THE BARBI-CAN SHAME FORTRESS OF ENDURANCE AND MEDIATION...






ENVY...ENVY...ENVY...


YOU ARE JUST TRYING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE...TRYING TO GENERATE AN IMAGE OR A SPELL THAT IS 'PERMANENT' AND 'LIMITING' AS A 'PERSONALITY' DANCE OF CONTROL...






YEAH, BUT IT STILL FEELS GOOD TO GET OFF AND GET RELEASE...






SURE...YET, THE TERRITORY CONTROL OF THWARTING, INHIBITION, DENIAL AND FORTRESSING EVENTUALLY SUFFOCATES BOTH PARTNERS IN A POWER CONTROL STRUGGLE THAT DESTROYS LOVE...






'SORT OF A MADNESS...YOU CAN'T LIVE WITH HIM/HER AND YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HIM/HER'...






'YEAH, THE EXCESSES OF CONTROL WHERE YOU KEEP YOURSELF SO SAFE THAT YOU DON'T GET TO HAVE ANY FUN'...


'YOU HAVE TO PLAY AND THERE HAS TO BE RISK, A TIME OF DANGER, SOMETHING THAT SPARKS OUT OF THE ROUTINES AND FAMILIAR'...






'HEY, YOU JUST HAVE TO BE IN IT TO WIN IT'...






'TO WIN WHAT'...LOVE IS NOT A GAME'...






'SURE IT IS...IT IS IN THE FEELINGS OF POWER AND CONTROL'...IT IS AN EDGE OR ADVANTAGE OF DESIRE, CHARGED SENSES, THE BODY ELECTRIC...FEELING ALIVE'...






'EXCEPT'...






'YEAH I KNOW THAT FEELING OF DISAPPOINTMENT...IT IS A SENSE OF BEING 'DEAD CERTAIN' AS CONTROL YET NOT GETTING WHAT I NEED'...






'I KNOW THAT MY MANIPULATION CONTROLS ARE TERRITORIAL LIKE A 'REVERSAL OF SENSES OF ABANDONMENT' AS WHAT I WANT IS TO REALLY BE IS IN 'TOTAL ABANDON' YET I USE MY RESENTMENT THAT HE CAN'T RESCUE ME AS A 'CONTEMPT' POSTURE'...






THE PRINCESS USUALLY IS NEVER RESCUED...SHE JUST DIES A THOUSAND DEATHS...THE 'DEAD CERTAINTY' OF BEING IN 'VANITY FEAR' AND 'BELIEF BEHAVIORS'...






'...AND EVERYONE FEELS 'NOT GOOD ENOUGH', A SENSE OF LACK AND GOES AROUND DOING COMPENSATORY THINGS TO MAKE UP FOR FEELINGS OF INADEQUACY'...'SO 'SETTLING IN SAFETY' IS WHAT ONE DOES'...






'IT IS THE 'CASTRATION' OF BEING AS ONE PARTITIONS IN 'CUTTING OFF' FROM REALNESS...FROM 'TRUTH OF URGENCY'...THE SURRENDER OF PARTS OR MOST OF THE SELF TO 'MEDIATION-CONTROL'...






'HEY, ONE CAN ALWAYS FIND AN ADVENTURE'...






'YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND...IT IS ADVENTURE AS 'INNER RISK'...IT IS HEART RISK TO EXTEND AND GO DEEPER...TAKING CHANCES IN ACTIONS OF TRUTH...LETTING GO OF PATTERNS OF TERRITORIAL HABITS OF 'DEAD CERTAINTY'...THE AGREED UPON 'GAMES' OF FLIRT, SEDUCTION, FLIGHT, FANTASY AND FORTRESSINGS...THE DESIRE AS STRATEGY CONSTRUCTIONS OF ADVANTAGE AND LEVERAGE TO SEEK POWER TO MAKE UP FOR WHAT HAS BEEN DONE TO COPE AND ENDURE'...






YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE A WAR WITHIN...






IT IS A 'HIP-HEART WAR' AS THE PLATEAU OF HIPS WHERE GOING ALONG TO GET ALONG IS THE ALL TOO FAMILIAR MEANS OF 'PECKING ORDER' IN STATUS-ACCEPTANCE-POWER...AN ECHO OF ROYAL WAYS...INSTITUTIONALIZED ROLES AND SOCIAL DUTIES AND OBLIGATIONS...BEING AS ANNOINTED OR EXPECTED'...






'ONE LEARNS TO GROW OUT OF THE CLOSED CIRCLES OF PERCEPTUAL CONTAINMENT'...ONE STRETCHES IN ENCOUNTERS TO REACH INTO THE 'ABYSS' OF EMPTINESS AND THE NON-CERTAIN'...






'WHAT'S WRONG WITH 'COMMITMENT'?






'IT IS NOT 'COMMITMENT' WHEN IT IS 'CO-DEPENDENCY'...IT IS NOT 'COMMITMENT' WHEN IT IS FOR THE 'SAKE OF'...IT IS NOT 'COMMITMENT' WHEN IT IS FORTRESS INERTIA...IT IS NOT 'COMMITMENT' WHEN THE 'NUMBINGS' AND 'PARTITIONINGS' FURTHER DIVIDE AGAINST ANY POSSIBILITY OF REAL INTIMACY'...






'SO GREAT 'LOVE GURU' HOW COME YOU ARE NOT IN 'AUTHENTICITY' AS 'TOTAL' TRUTH OF URGENCY?'...






'WELL, IN SOME SENSES 'DOING NOTHING' IS A DEEP SELF CLEARING AS A WAY OF 'JUST DO IT' THAT IS NATURAL WITHOUT THE INTENSITY-DENSITY OF 'TRYING TO MAKE IT FIT'...IT IS NATURAL IN DESIRE TO BE WITH IN 'AS IS' WITHOUT THE 'MAKE BELIEVE' OF SOME DREAM VERSION OF WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE'...






'WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT'...






'IT IS BEING 'DOOMED' TO ENDURE IN EXPECTANCY OF DREAMINGS THAT ARE SELF ABSORPTION...IT IS JULIA KRISTEVA WROTE 'ONE MUST RENOUNCE ONE'S AUTO-EROTICISM IN ORDER TO FIND A PARTNER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX'...






'WELL, THAT CAN BE A VERY LONELY PATH AS ALMOST EVERYONE IS IN STRATEGIES OF 'MAKE-UP' AND 'IMPRESSION MANAGEMENT'...






'IT IS BEING NATURAL IN BREATH AND PRESENCE...HEALTH AND SELF LOVE WITHOUT THE DIVISIONS OF INNER SPLITTINGS TO BE AS ONE 'WANTS SOMEONE TO BE'...IT IS VITALITY IN NUTRITION, FASHIONS AND MOTIONS THAT ARE FROM WITHIN...WHAT IS REALLY BEST FOR ONE'...


'IT IS BEING PREPARED FOR WHAT ONE ASKS FOR EVEN AS THERE ISN'T THE SLIGHTEST SIGN OF IT IN SIGHT........